Naps Are Good

I am generally not a nap kind of girl, but the last two days, I have taken good naps. Today I slept from around 4 pm to 6 pm and could have kept right on sleeping! I am not gonna fight it, if my body needs sleep right now, then it needs sleep right now. Now to just teach the gma and mil to use the remote control by themselves….

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3 going on 30

Hannah’s birthday is fast approaching and she will be turning 4, however, she acts more like a teenager already. She must have gloss before leaving the house. She has to carry her purse with cell phone, gloss and sunglasses. She has more shoes than I do! The comments that have been flying out of her mouth lately are a lot of things that she obviously picks up from me, but try as I might to not laugh when she says them, I never quite pull that off!

So, some of her most recent zingers…

‘what the hell are they building over there’? – This was in reference to the new Dial building on Scottsdale and 101 as we drove past to meet up with Papa at Lonsdales Cigar Bar.

‘where the hell are we’? – This was said to Sean as we drove home from his bday dinner back in July.

‘what the hell is that thing doing there’? – In reference to a Coca Cola Trailer outside the WalMart.

So I ask you, what the hell is going on around here?! lmao!

Are Things Really

As bad as they seem? I am talking about in relation to MIL’s health issues, are things as bad as they seem? Is she just having tons of issues right now because of the move and the surgery and the combination of all these other factors? Or is she really as bad as all this…

She is having so much trouble coming up with the right words to use. She has had this trouble as long as I have known her (5 years), but it is horribly bad now. Then when she comes up with a word its still not the right word and makes absolutely no sense to those of us who are trying to figure out what she is saying. Then she will try and spell the word that she is looking for only to have the letters she puts together make no sense and most of the time they don’t even spell any word, they are just random letters. I know its frustrating for her, but its so frustrating for us too because we can’t figure out what she is trying to say! Communication is really so important and we are struggling with it right now. On top of the communication lacking, we are also trying to get her to understand that she doesn’t get to go home. She is here for good. She argues with us that she can take care of herself and that she has friends back in Iowa who help her. We are trying to avoid talking about it with her at this point because we don’t want to argue it. She doesn’t remember or retain what we have said and it just frustrates all of us when she insists that she is going home soon. So we are just telling her we will see in the future how things are going and decide then. She doesn’t remember doing things like putting her seatbelt on once she has done it. Its just a struggle everyday all day.

I have started ‘caregiving’ journals for both gramma and MIL so that if we ever get some respite care, I will have these to print out for the volunteers to be aware of issues and other things. It helps to get things out and be able to read through them and see if we can thing differently or whatever.

MIL has her first appt with her new oncologist on Friday, so hopefully we will have a better idea of what we are up against after that. We have not gotten a detailed diagnosis for this most recent cancer or a prognosis. We will also be asking the oncologist for the order for Hospice care to start that right away.

Alright, so I feel better getting some of this out…I am hoping it will be a resource for me to use to keep my sanity about me!

So Not A Walk

In the park!! We got to the park at about 1030 this morning, it was a gorgeous 80 degrees. We met up with our friends from PM, and Gramma and MIL went and sat in the shade and were chatting.

After a while, MIL and GMA got up and started walking off to a ramada area and were complaining that it was too hot and their brains were cooking. So I can’t win by staying indoors with them, they complain about the inactivity. I also can’t win by taking them to the park to either sit and talk or walk or whatever they want to do while Hannah plays.

So we came home and now everyone is relaxing and I am worn out. Tomorrow is the library, lets hope they won’t be able to find anything to complain about at that outing.

What Do You Do

With an MIL that you have not much in common with? Sean has to work the next 3 days straight and that leaves me with MIL and Gramma and Hannah. Alone. HELP!!!

I have thought about taking a trip to the library, but I want to save that for Wednesday because that is when there is a storytime. I am just at a loss. Maybe I will suggest going to the park, Hannah can play and the rest of us can enjoy some time out in the fresh air and sunshine.

Suggestions?

Guilt

What do you do when you feel like the choices you have made have damaged your baby? How do you deal with the guilt that brings? I feel like such a bad mom because Hannah is so changed since we have moved in with gramma. We have had so much chaos and drama and all the bad things that you try to protect your child from. I have never exposed my daughter to stuff like this. Ever. People who do these things and act this way have never been welcome in my home or around my daughter. Now I have moved us in with constant drama and chaos and its taking such a toll on her. Ugh. I just feel so overwhelmed with the guilt…

Hannah and The Great Pumpkin

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Last weekend, I took Hannah to a PhoenixMommies Pumpkin Patch event at a local farm (tomalchoff farms), there were animals and train rides and a bounce house, face painters and balloon swords, corn mazes and fresh vegies to buy.

Lets just say that Hannah must take after me in the city girl department because the farm was not my cup o’tea or hers. She couldn’t stand how ‘scratchy’ the hay was when I put her on it to take the picture so she wouldn’t even look at me! We didn’t stay very long, but we did get some nice fresh corn and a big pumpkin!

Can’t Sleep

Why is it that before you get married you have no problem sleeping alone and then bam! you get married and can’t sleep to save your life if your husband is not hogging the bed and snoring next to you? Just something to ponder I suppose…

Although I do get a lot more housework done when he is not here. Sean and MIL are flying home today and I have been up almost all night doing laundry (which usually doesn’t get done til Sunday!!) and I am happy to say that I only have 2 more loads ot wash, and I have already folded and put away 2 loads with another going into the dryer in about 5 minutes. Yay me! (does anyone else hear London Tipton’s voice when I type that??).

Mailbox

Ok, so as you all know by now, we have moved into my gramma’s house and the previous tenants ( I use the word tenants very loosely) totally trashed the place. They didn’t fix or take care of anything and just….well, trashed the place. Case in point, the mailbox. The first pic is what the mailbox looked like when we moved in. The posts are all coming un-nailed (is that even a word?) and the house numbers are falling off and missing, the mailbox itself won’t even close…it was a wreck.

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Then, we got ahold of things and for about $10 and a little elbow grease, this is what it looks like now…

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aahhh, can’t you just feel a difference looking at the two? I mean, its unreal. It makes the whole house feel less trashy!

Stay tuned for more fix – it – up projects before and afters!